Who can do all things?

                Monday was not a good day for me.  We arrived home on Sunday night at 11:30 pm after a 10 hours drive from Michigan.  We enjoyed festive days of celebrating Thanksgiving with family and catching up with numerous friends.  We lunched with my mom’s best friend, celebrated impending nuptials with a daughter of a friend, golfed in the 60-degree weather, bowled with five sorority sister and their families, and brunched with some college friends in Ann Arbor.  While the pace was not frenetic, we were busy.  My husband had a cold and I got little sleep on Sunday night.

                Others reasons for restless sleep include the fact that I was coming home to the important work of closing as may gifts as possible for my clients before December 31^st and there was a list of volunteer commitments that was nearly as long as my  childhood list to Santa.  Add all of the Christmas activities, including decorating the house and creating our Christmas cards and wanted to hit the ground running!

                During morning mass and my prayer/journaling time, I was very distracted by the list of things that I need to accomplish this week.  Now, the truth is that the world will not come to the end if this work is not completed, but this is what was on MY agenda for the week.  I worked to get through the glut of emails.  At noon, I had finished very little.  I simply could not focus on one thing!

                I felt myself on the edge of an abyss of despair and depression.  Depression had been a continual companion of mine in the years before I came back to God. This feeling was alarming to me. What is going on with me? I thought.

                I pulled up mid-day prayers on my smart phone and in the first reading, the Psalmist was crying out to God for help.  I prayed the mid-day prayers, then went back to the first Psalm, and prayed it twice over, knowing that I needed God’s help.  On my drive to a client’s office in the afternoon, I prayed the Joyful Mysteries and on the way back the Sorrowful Mysteries – this time for those dealing with depression.

                In the evening, I received encouragement from a couple of sources including the book that I was just beginning.   I learned that St. Teresa of Jesus wrote Interior Castle at the request of her superiors because her previous book was in the hands of the Inquisition.  This happened while her local superiors and Rome were questioning many the reforms she had made within her community.  In spite of this, she wrote this great classic on prayer.

                The next day, I found more encouragement in the morning prayers. Then it dawned on me.  Who can do all things?  Is it I?  Of course not.  In all of the activity of celebrating and working, I was forgetting to give thanks and praise to our Lord.  I was not allowing Him to work in me.  My unrealistic schedule of things to do made me feel overwhelmed.  I went to morning Mass and spent nearly an hour in prayer and study.  What a difference it made!  This just might be the “wake up “call that I needed to slow down this Advent and enjoy this time of waiting.