The Marriage March

              

It was the day after a late March snow storm in Washington DC.  Twenty-four hours earlier, heavy, wet snow clung to the branches and trees and covered the grass throughout the metropolitan area.  Today, the sun was shining and little trace of the snow was evident.  I walked from the Metro station to the National Mall, not knowing what to expect.  This is the day of the Marriage March, scheduled for March 26, 2013 because it is the day that the Supreme Court will hear arguments of the validity of California’s Prop 7.

I digress at this point to mention that I am frustrated with idea of marching to the Supreme Court.  If it is possible for special interest groups to influence the Supreme Court, then the 9 justices are no longer the Supreme Court. . This Court is no longer the impartial and independent branch that is vital for checks and balances in the US democracy.   

Yet from the time I learned of the Marriage March, I knew that I had to participate.  As I approached the Mall, about 15 minutes before the beginning of the march, I could see thousands of men, women and children already beginning the walk toward the Supreme Court.  One organizer (who handed me a sign that said, “A child deserves and mom and a dad”) said that the crowd was so large that they had to begin the march before the scheduled time.

I walked rapidly, catching up with the marchers, until I was in the middle of the crowd.  We were accompanied by a small band playing patriotic and Christian tunes.  A few large banners were visible, along with the hundreds of red and blue signs distributed by the organizers.  And there were many, many handmade signs.

I was struck by the diversity of the crowd.  Asian, Hispanic, Caucasian and African American men, women and children marched.  Elder couples walked holding hands, young moms and dads pushed baby carriages, and many youth were at the rally. Many of them hailed from New England and the Mid-Atlantic.  They rose before dawn to come to our nation’s capital to support the cause of marriage between one man and one woman.

As we walked past the US Capitol toward the Supreme Court, there were occasional small groups of protesters who want to redefine marriage.  Our pace slowed down to a standstill as we approached the Supreme Court. The sidewalks were packed with the opposition.  They chanted about what they want and what they will get. Some of the Marriage Marchers chanted, “One man one women” but for the most part quietly held there signs until it was time to move.

As we stopped I prayed that the Holy Spirit will guide the justices as they make their decision.  We began to move back toward the Mall where there was to be a rally.  Two young African American women happened upon the march and one of them said, “I wish I had a sign.”  I needed to get to work, so I handed them my sign and walked to the Union Station metro.

On this day, I did what I could to defend marriage as the union of man and woman, sacramentally joined together as husband and wife, united in mind, body and spirit to family life, in the service of our great and mighty God. 

What's next God?

               Last night I experienced one of those incidents when I felt that I followed God’s plan, with my action being guided by the Holy Spirit.  My action was affirmed by an email from a friend and I wanted to give the Holy Spirit a “high five”.

               Nearly five years ago, God swept me back to himself with two incidents that happened about 12 hours apart.  In the early weeks of my conversion, I came to realized that both events had to be the working of the Holy Spirit.  The first time I said to someone that it could have only been the work of the Holy Spirit, I almost whispered his name. (I thought, if I say this too loud and someone overhears the conversation, they will think I am crazy.)  I was still living in a world that included little of the supernatural. 

               Not so last night.

               A friend and I are conducting a six week adult education retreat using 33 Days to Morning Glory.  The program includes a book with daily readings, time for prayer and a weekly meeting to view a video and discuss our impressions for the week.  I was extremely delighted when a woman that I know emailed me and said she wanted to participate.  She couldn’t make the orientation so we scheduled a time when I could come over and give her the book.  She had been on my mental list of people who might benefit from the retreat.

               The evening of our appointment she cancelled and we agreed that we would find another time.  I included her on the email list of people who had signed up for the class.  The evening reading was to begin, I received an email saying that she was going through a lot; she couldn’t make the commitment, even though this was probably much needed. That message was the verification I needed to understand that this program was for her!

               I looked up her address and planned to drop it by her house in the midst of errands.  I had been to her house before, but only during the day.  As I drove toward her house on this dark and dreary evening, I realized that I left my phone, with the GPS, at home.  After about 10 minutes of driving to try to find her house, I stopped and pulled out the map book, only to discover that the four pages with the local maps were missing.

               Part of me wanted to give up and go home, but another part of me was so convinced that she needed the book, that I persevered.  After nearly 20 minutes of driving, in what seemed circles, I found her house.  It is not my nature to just drop in, even to friend’s homes, so I took a deep breath and climbed the stairs to her from porch.  Her husband answered the door and called for her. 

               “Did we plan to get together?” were the first words out of her mouth.  No, I said, but I got your email and just had to get this book to you.  I explained that the commitment was about 10 minutes of daily reading and some prayer for this retreat.  She said “thank you” and gave me a big hug.

               The next evening, I received an email message saying that she had read the introduction and was beginning the reading.  Her concluding words were “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”  And as I turned off the computer and went to bed, my words to the Holy Spirit were, “thank you, thank you, thank you”.  My prayer, as I drifted off to sleep, my prayer was, “What’s next God?”

Understanding the Chair of St. Peter

               Yesterday, I was cleaning out a drawer filled with old Magnificat books and found the following article from February 2001, (pg 318) that I wanted to share.

               Treat the Catholic Church as divine only and you will stumble over her scandals, her failures and her shortcomings.  Treat her as human only and you will be silenced by her miracles, her sanctity and her eternal resurrections.

               Of course the Catholic Church is human.  She consists of fallible men, and her humanity is not even safeguarded as was that of Christ against the incursions of sin.  Always, therefore, there have been scandals, and always will be.  Popes may betray their trust in all human matters; priests their flocks; laymen their faith.  No man is secure.  And, again, since she is human it is perfectly true that she has profited by human circumstances for the increase of her power. Undoubtedly it was the existence of the Roman Empire, with it is road, its rapid means of transit and its organization that made possible the swift propagation of the Gospel in the first centuries.  Undoubtedly it was the empty throne of Caesar and the prestige of Rome that developed the world’s acceptance of the authority of Peter’s Chair.  Undoubtedly it was the divisions of Europe that cemented the Church’s unity and led men to look at a Supreme Authority that might compose their differences. There is scarcely an opening in human affairs into which she has not plunged; hardly an opportunity she has missed.  Human Affairs, human sins, and weaknesses as well as human virtues, have all contributed to her power.  So grows a tree even in uncongenial soil.  The rocks that impede the roots later became their support; the rich soil waiting for an occupant has been drawn up into the life of the leaves; the very developed too its power of resistance.  Yet these things do not make the tree.

               For her humanity, though it is the body in which her divinity dwells, does not create that divinity.  Certainly human circumstances have developed her, yet what but divine Providence ordered and developed those human circumstances?  What but that same power, which indwells in the Church, dwelt without her too and caused her to take root at that time and in that place which most favored her growth?

Monsignor Robert Hugh Benson – was a British convert to Catholicism who is best known for his novels about the faith.

Back to normal?

               Last week, the husband of a friend of mine had surgery to remove cancerous tissue.  The day before the surgery, I received a message from my friend today thanking me for a recent message. She was look forward to getting the surgery over so life could get “back to normal”.

               In December, there was a Facebook post from a friend who was celebrating her tests that showed that she was clean from her cancer.  And now she wanted to forget about it and get on with her life.

               When my husband was out of work two years ago, I just wanted to him to get a job so we could get “back to normal”. And after he went back to work, life was not the same as before.  After being home for eleven months, our roles had change. It wasn’t a huge change, but in his time off, my husband had become involved in the day to day details of the house and so he had more questions about transportation and meal schedules.  I tried to get back into our “normal” routine, but it wasn’t the same.

               There are many good things in the “new” normal. 

·        Our house and routine are much more centered on our faith in God.  Nearly a year of unemployment leaves plenty of time for prayer and a need to lean on God to show the way.

·        My husband and now 16 year old son have an improved relationship.  They spent A LOT of time together, while he was unemployed.  They like each other – most of the time. 

·        We now split the transportation responsibilities more evenly as we have learned that the best place to talk to a teen is in the car.

·        Our budget is leaner.  Not eating out and spending only what we had to on clothes for almost a year has changed the way we shop.  We still enjoy terrific vacations, but eat out one night a week or less.  We also shop at more inexpensive stores for clothes.  Our teen loves the Nike outlet for shoes and was proud of his $15 purchase last year.

·        Less is good. With time to clean out and organize, we have managed to give away the things we weren’t using.  Those things that we moved from our old house ten years ago and still hadn’t used!

·        We are more sensitive to the needs of others. While we have always been fairly generous, we now are stretching our giving to 10% of our income.  We also are more willing to reach out to neighbors and friends who are experiencing challenges.

                Without sounding flip, I wanted to say to both of my friends that normal will be different.  A significant life challenge produces changes in how life is viewed, how things are accomplished and even what is important.

               Back to normal?  Not for us and probably not for them.  Yet the new normal can be an improvement.

Joyful Trust

          On this, last day of the papacy of Benedict XVI, I can’t but be filled with his words from yesterday’s general audience.  I have truly loved the messages that he has given in his audiences and have learned much.  One of my favorite books by our Holy Father comes from his audiences.  Holy Men and Women from the Middle Ages and Beyond is a compilation of audience from 2010 and 2011.  It is beautifully written with care and love for these men and women who loved God above all else.

          Yesterday, in just over 250 words, this beloved Pope offered a beautiful farewell.  He stated that he is “personally grateful for (the Lord’s) unfailing love and guidance in the eight years since I accepted his call to serve as the Successor of Peter.”  He referenced that “we have all been called to review our joyful trust in the Lord’s presence in our lives and in the life of the church”.  These words are very private and reveal the depth of his love for and reliance on Christ.

          He makes the point that he is not leaving us in that he will be joined with us in his prayers for the church and he humbly asks us to pray for him, the new Pope and the church.  Note that he doesn’t ask only for prayers for him, but his successor and the entire church.

          His retirement is the “fruit of a serene trust in God’s will and a deep love of Christ’s Church”.  He said so much said in so few words.  It was prayer that led him to make this difficult decision serenely.  How often is serenity part of our world today?

          Today, at 2pm local time, the time that the Chair of Peter will become empty, I will be joining colleagues in prayer and then in a champagne toast to our Pope emeritus.  I wouldn’t be surprised if I shed a tear or two.

          If I have learned one thing from the past two papacy’s it is that God, with the Holy Spirit’s guidance will give us just who we need to lead the church.  Joyful trust – that is what I have in our Lord and in the man who is the Successor of Peter.  Thank you Papa Ratzinger! 

Since When is Lust No Longer a Sin?

In the past couple of years, I have become very selective about what I read.  Other than reading the Food Network Magazine subscribed to by my mother-in-law, I rarely read a magazine.  I find the content and visual images of many women’s magazines to be a place of temptation – even in the grocery line.  And so I “avoid the near temptation of sin”.

Recently, as I was waiting for my fingernail polish to dry in a salon, I perused the magazines. I avoided Star, OK, In Touch and even People for an edition of Redbook.  What harm could there be in reading this mainstay of women’s magazines?  As turned the pages and skimmed the copy, I decided to read an article titled the Best Love Stories of 2012. (Note that the article clearly touted love, not sex or erotica.)

The article mentioned the royal couple William and Kate who are sweet in public and have been horrified at having their private moments splashed across the tabloids. I turned the page to find an article on the “Smorgasbord of eye candy this year” avowing that women are “loud and proud in our appreciation”.  There was a photo of a famous male in a skimpy bathing suit and the article suggested another man to “Google if you want to get the home fires burning - but don’t do it at work”. The take away was that “your husband doesn’t care what’s got you so worked up, as long as he reaps the benefits”.  I actually read the sentence twice.  I don’t know about other men, but my husband would not be happy knowing that I am fantasizing about another man while we make love.

The next article about “love” touted the effect a soft porn novel has had on martial sex, stating that the movie version “can’t come fast enough”.  Since when is lust no longer a sin I thought as I slapped the magazine shut and moved it far away from my seat.

This mainstream women’s magazine is promoting activity that not only diminishes the value of the intimate marriage relationship, but promotes sinful behavior as something to boast about.  I closed my eyes and my mind ranted at the outrage of including this material in an article about love.   A Casting Crowns song came to mind.  I can’t remember its name, but the lyrics include “be careful what your eyes see”.

The harms of lust are more far reaching than our current society will admit.  When sex is a form of recreation, not an act of creation or comfort, it damages the love between wife and husband.  And we, the women of today, have bought into the current culture’s theme that sex is far more important than love. 

We do need to be careful what our eyes, the eyes of our husbands, and the eyes of our children see.  How much of the crumbling family structure can be blamed on confusing love with erotica?

Denying Self and Following

Denying Self and Following

               I don’t typically re-blog something that has already been written, but as I was reading before bed last night, this quote from Blosius the Venerable really spoke to me and I want to share it.  Blosius was a Benedictine and Abbot.  He lived in the 1500’s and was a monk and mystical writer. His formal name is Father Françoise-Louis de Blois.  This excerpt was from the March edition of Magnificat on page 194.  For more information about the Magnificat publication you can click on www.magnificat.com.

           

      Oh, when will I perfectly die to myself and be free from all creatures? Oh, would that I were truly meek of heart and humble; truly poor and naked in spirit. Grant, O Lord, that by perfect self-denial, perfect mortification of my vices I may arrive at perfect love of you. You have commanded that I should love you: give what you command and command what you please, Grant that I may love you with my whole heart, my whole mind, with all my powers, with my whole soul. Deign to heal and to reform the powers of my soul, broken and corrupted by sin, by the powers of your most hold soul. Free my soul from all distracting cares; strip from it the images and forms of perishable things. Grant me to dwell with you in the sanctuary of my soul; grant that by steadfast thought, clear knowledge, and fervent love I may always be able to flow into you.