Back to normal?

               Last week, the husband of a friend of mine had surgery to remove cancerous tissue.  The day before the surgery, I received a message from my friend today thanking me for a recent message. She was look forward to getting the surgery over so life could get “back to normal”.

               In December, there was a Facebook post from a friend who was celebrating her tests that showed that she was clean from her cancer.  And now she wanted to forget about it and get on with her life.

               When my husband was out of work two years ago, I just wanted to him to get a job so we could get “back to normal”. And after he went back to work, life was not the same as before.  After being home for eleven months, our roles had change. It wasn’t a huge change, but in his time off, my husband had become involved in the day to day details of the house and so he had more questions about transportation and meal schedules.  I tried to get back into our “normal” routine, but it wasn’t the same.

               There are many good things in the “new” normal. 

·        Our house and routine are much more centered on our faith in God.  Nearly a year of unemployment leaves plenty of time for prayer and a need to lean on God to show the way.

·        My husband and now 16 year old son have an improved relationship.  They spent A LOT of time together, while he was unemployed.  They like each other – most of the time. 

·        We now split the transportation responsibilities more evenly as we have learned that the best place to talk to a teen is in the car.

·        Our budget is leaner.  Not eating out and spending only what we had to on clothes for almost a year has changed the way we shop.  We still enjoy terrific vacations, but eat out one night a week or less.  We also shop at more inexpensive stores for clothes.  Our teen loves the Nike outlet for shoes and was proud of his $15 purchase last year.

·        Less is good. With time to clean out and organize, we have managed to give away the things we weren’t using.  Those things that we moved from our old house ten years ago and still hadn’t used!

·        We are more sensitive to the needs of others. While we have always been fairly generous, we now are stretching our giving to 10% of our income.  We also are more willing to reach out to neighbors and friends who are experiencing challenges.

                Without sounding flip, I wanted to say to both of my friends that normal will be different.  A significant life challenge produces changes in how life is viewed, how things are accomplished and even what is important.

               Back to normal?  Not for us and probably not for them.  Yet the new normal can be an improvement.

God's Loving Care

This month, my women’s Bible Study group is reading and discussing prayer.  One of the questions in the workbook asked us to discuss a time when we were especially aware of God’s loving care.  While there are a number of times in my life that this was evident, one particular time is above all.

Two years ago, my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer.  Before she began treatment, the cancer had metastasised to the brain.  For three and a half months, my siblings and I walked with my mom on her last journey on earth.

I would imagine that the death of a parent is never easy. Not only was I sad to know that I was going to lose her, but I was angry because she had been a lifetime smoker and had not taken care of herself.  For me, this would mean that I would be an orphan, as my dad died in 1986.

Before my first trip back to Michigan, I went to confession.   Entering the confessional, not knowing what I wanted to confess, the Holy Spirit, along with the confessor, led me to understand that it was selfishness that I needed to confess.  So many of my concerns had to do with me (i.e. How was my 12 year old son going to react? How much was this going to cost me in expense and in time? How would this affect my family? ) in spite of the fact that I knew my mom was terribly afraid of death.  This was the first step in God’s loving care for me in those anxious, heartbreaking days.

From the beginning, I reached out to many who knew me and asked for their prayers.  On days when I didn’t think I could hurt any more, I knew that I was being held aloft by the prayers of others.  I made four trips back to Michigan.  Many precious, poignant memories are burnt into my brain from those days between February and June - too many to recount here.

Through God’s loving care, I was able to help my mom come to terms with the end of her life on earth, as I came to understand the beauty of a happy death.  God’s love helped me to be stronger than I ever thought I could be.  As I attend mass in Michigan, it was as if God was speaking to me through the celebrants, showing me his great love for my family and me.

As I was preparing to come home from one visit, I asked my brother to take a picture of my mom and me.  Her hair had begun to fall out from the cancer treatments, and I was certain that this would be the last good photo of us.  He snapped one picture, and then Mom spontaneously leaned over to kiss me on the cheek and I giggled.  That moment, captured digitally, is a visual sign of God’s loving care during those dark months in 2010.

Storms

An earthquake on Tuesday and a rain/wind weather event from Hurricane Irene on Saturday.  It has been an eventful weather week in the DC area.  During the past 24 hours, I don’t think I’ve had a conversation that hasn’t referenced the storm.  The news media has done nothing except play on our human fears, causing people to buy far more water, batteries and peanut butter than they will need in the coming year.  (I’m just thankful that they didn’t know the earthquake was coming.)

However, another event, with only a local impact, will most likely affect my life more than either of these events over the next months.  On Friday, I learned that a parish member, who has several young children, has ovarian cancer.  While we hear about all types of cancer in the news and are bombarded with requests to support cancer research, somehow when someone I know is diagnosed, cancer is spelled with a capital “C”.  Having lost my grandma, for whom I was named, and both parents to cancer, the news evokes all kinds of emotions. 

It makes me realize that it is time to get on my knees and pray for this family, as well as offer assistance with things like transportation, childcare and meals.  The forecasters of the outcome of this storm will not be meteorologists, but a variety of oncologists and their colleagues.   Family and friends at times will feel helpless, but those who trust in Christ and ask, “His will be done”, will not be hopeless.  Whatever the outcome of this storm, the suffering endured will create many blessings. 

When I think of the event of the past week, I realize that I must trust in Jesus.   No matter how unexpected or frightening the storm, I must believe that He knows what He is doing.  No matter how sorrowful or joyful the event, it is what I need at this moment.  Even when I would rather not hunker down, waiting for Irene to arrive or to hear of the illness of a friend, there is a reason for the event.

On this Monday morning, the weather forecast is for sunny, clear skies for the next few days.  The effects of the earthquake and Irene will soon be forgotten.  My fellow parish member and her family are adjusting to the unexpected news and assessing the next steps.  It is trust in our great and mighty Lord that will take us through this day and beyond.