Freely choosing what is truly good

               Today (Oct 22, 2011), 33 years ago, an obscure bishop from Poland, Karol Wojtyla, became the Bishop of Rome. The election of Pope John Paul II was a surprise.  I remember following the entire election process as a political science major and a senior in college.  (I’m glad that there wasn’t anything such as CNN at the time.  My grades may have dipped for October 1978!)

                I was not Catholic back then and remember the election of Blessed John Paul II as my first encounter with the Catholic Church as an adult.  Today is the first official feast day for him.   And today I finished George Weigel’s The End and Beginning, the biography about this great man of God.  I didn’t plan to finish it today, but I had 70 pages to go and reading it seemed like an appropriate way to celebrate his first feast day.

                Weigel says, “Freedom, John Paul II taught for decades, is not a matter of doing what we like, but of freely choosing what is truly good.”  Also on this day, I watched a news show about the demonstrations that began in New York and are now present in major cities throughout the country.

                I’m all for demonstrations.  Free speech is a hallmark of the United States and peaceful, respectful demonstrations are a unique American experience.  However, these demonstrations are not respectful and it appears that these people are truly lost.  They don’t have something solid on which to base their life.  “We want, we demand” seems to be their mantra.  Moreover, they all don’t even want the same thing!  They don’t understand that no matter how much they have, if they don’t allow God to fill that hole in their hearts, they will live unfulfilling lives.  A college degree is not a guarantee of success or happiness, or a job or even free healthcare.

                Our current American culture sets us up to focus on material things and on ego gratifying goals.  Yet, each day, we deal with situations in which we can “freely choose what is truly good”.  Much of these decisions are contrary with the norm.  How do we choose to treat others when we are in a hurry to rush to our next event of the day?  Is there time to call that elderly friend or relative today, or is the choice to watch TV or update Facebook.  And as we approach the Christmas holidays, how much of the money I spend will I allocate to those who truly are in need?

                These are simple daily choices that I make that can make the difference between “doing what I like or freely choosing what is truly good”.  Thank you Blessed John Paul II for allowing me to think about freedom in a different way today.

Hello readers.  I wrote the message below to my women's prayer and bible study group at home.  I thought it was worth sharing more broadly.

Hello Women of St. Bernadette from Rome!

Courtney, Karen and I are three of 38 pilgrims being led by Monsignor Smith on a pilgrimage to Italy.  Today (Thursday) was a highlight.  We attended the Deaconate Ordination of Pat Lewis, a man who grew up as a member of St. Bernadette.  Thirty-five young men make their vows as a Deacon today in St. Peter's Basilica. God willing, they will all become Priests in May and June next year.  These young men can now preach, bless things (not people), and baptize.  They have also chosen a lifetime dedicated to Christ and therefore a celibate life.

I can't even begin to describe the joy and love of that Mass.  Monsignor Smith was one of 150 or more co-celebrants.  Sitting just a little left and a story above the tomb of St. Peter was an experience that I would wish for all of you! 

This afternoon, I took a walk across Rome.  My goal was to pray a decade of the Rosary in five different churches.  The focus of my walk was to get to Santa Sabina, a church build in the 4th century.  It was there that St. Dominic built his monastery in 1220 and where St. Thomas Aquinas studied and prayed. 

As I walked along the Tiber River, I realized that Basilica S. Bartholomaei in Insula (the church of St. Bartholonew) was on the island.  I walked over the bridge, resisting the call of the souvenir peddlers and the gelato shop, to the church.  It houses the remains of St.  Bartholomew and has two beautiful paintings - one of the visitation and the other the annunciation. I found the Annunciation unusual in that it has both God the Father and the Holy Spirit in it.
There, I paused to pray a decade of the rosary and then lit a candle and prayed for the Women of St. Bernadette.  Specifically, I prayed that through our work, we would strengthen our relationship with Jesus and that we would bring many women to a better understanding of the Catholic faith.

I wish every woman in our group could have experienced this trip.  We celebrated mass in inexpressibly beautiful and sacred surroundings.  We walked in the places that St. Peter and St. Paul were martyred.  We saw the light go off in the papal apartment at 11 one night and saw him in person.  We prayed in front of the crucifix that St. Catherine of Sienna used.  We walked into the tiny, one room chapel used by St. Francis.  And we ate delicious food, laughed until our sides hurt and toasted our new friendships with smooth Roman wine! Our pastor poured himself out in homilies that touched our souls and challenged us to life faithful Catholic lives.
I look forward to seeing all of you soon.

Your sister in Christ,

Mary Ellen

Priorities

The holiday decorating season has begun.  We begin with our spooky, haunted houses that we have collected over the years.  At the beginning of November, I bring out the collection of various pumpkins that I have collected and then sometime in early December, Christmas collections are brought from the storage unit.

To make room for these festive items, I put away many of our family photos that grace our tables and shelves during the balance of the year.  As I was viewing the photos and deciding which ones would remain out, I picked up a photo taken of my family at the Grotto of Our Lady of Lourdes in Emmetsburg, MD.  It was taken on a warm, sunny July afternoon.  When it was taken, we did not know that it would be the last family photo to include my father-in-law.

The Grotto has long been a favorite of my mother-in-law, especially prior to the birth of another child in the family.  For her 75^th birthday, we promised to take her for a visit.  It had been several years since she had visited this interesting place.

In between her birthday and the day set for the trip, my father-in-law’s health declined dramatically.  He was admitted to the hospital in mid-June and released to a rehab facility.  We fully expected that he would be coming home to us in a few weeks.

Permission was granted by the rehab facility for him to come with us to the Grotto.  He had a great smile on his face as my husband wheeled him out of the facility, to our car.  Transferring him from the chair to the car was more difficult than we expected.  But once he was in, we had a lively discussion on the hour or so drive to Emmetsburg. 

We took our time visiting the sites as we strolled up the hill to the Shrine.   Our lively conversation, become more quiet as we approached the grotto.  The five of us stopped to pray and also to light candles. Before we turned to begin the decent, a stranger was asked to take a photo of us.  At the time, it was just one more photo of the family.

We walked back to the car and drove to Emmetsburg for lunch.  I remember that my father-in-law had cream of crab soup, which he really enjoyed.  I also remember my 14 year-old son sitting next to his grand dad, engaging in conversation.

We drove back to Silver Spring and dropped of my father-in-law at the rehab facility.  As we transferred him to the chair, I realized that it was unlikely that he would ever come home to live again.

Thirteen days later, he went to his heavenly reward.  As I look at this photo, I am thankful that we took time out of our crazy-busy of our lives to spend a day with our in-laws.  The memories of that day will be with our family for many years. 

This is a photo that will stay on display all year!  It is a reminder of the importance of putting relationships before obligations. 

Chapel of St. Catheine

I have just returned from a 10-day pilgrimage to Italy.  I stayed in Sienna, Assisi and Rome.  This journey took me to many places physically and spiritually and I will probably refer to this trip for some time in this blog.  I feel like I have stored up enough spiritual food to think about and ponder for many weeks.

One afternoon in Rome, I walked across the city center to visit Santa Sabina, a church originally built in the 400’s.  St. Dominic built his monastery adjacent to the church in the 1200’s and it is one of the many places where St. Thomas Aquinas studied and wrote.  On a warm, sunny day in Rome, my walk took me through the Pizza Navvona, past the Pantheon – only because I got lost – and then along the Tiber River. 

There was much to see, hear and smell.  On the way to the church, I stopped to visit other churches, take photos and fill my water bottle from the public fountains.  I approached an intersection near the church. Studying my map, I was not sure which way to go.  I decided to go straight and then about ten steps later looked up and remembered that this ancient place of worship was on a hill.  Oh, yes, as I craned my neck upward, I could see it on a very high hill.  I walked back to the intersection and began my journey up the hill.  As I rounded the corner, there was the back of the Roman Forum.  What an unexpected surprise and a fabulous view!

I walked, sometimes slowly and sometimes quickly up the steep hill.   There was a park on my right as and then found the church.  Unlike many Roman churches, the interior is very similar to the way it was when it was built.  I was thrilled to be in the same place that St. Dominic and St. Thomas Aquinas prayed.  After looking around, and lighting a candle for the vocation of a young friend, I knelt down in a chapel to pray a decade of the Rosary.

As I finished, I look up and saw that there were four paintings of a woman that surrounded the painting in the dome. “Who is this?”  I thought.  “No, I don’t think it is the Mary, the Mother of God.”  My mind began to flip though the many paintings and mosaics of saints that I had viewed in the past week.  The woman held up her hands in some of the paintings, and then I recognized the stigmata on her hands.  “Oh yes, she is St. Catherine of Sienna!” I remarked to myself.  (St. Catherine was a Dominican, so it makes sense that she is honored in this church.)

I felt a shiver run up my spine as I gazed at one particular painting.  Saint Catherine is kneeling with her hands held in front of her.  Jesus is on one knee as he offers her the Eucharist.  The painting captures the moment as Jesus offers His sacrifice and she opens her mouth to accept it.  I cannot describe the beauty of the moment and the photo that I took is hard to view as sun was shining on only a portion of the photo.

My mind has often been preoccupied with this painting as I wonder at the beauty of it.  It captures, in a different way what Christ has done for us.  He offered himself on the Cross so that we can have eternal life.  And He feeds us in so many ways: through the Eucharist, in our prayers, in guiding us through our daily life and asking us to be Him to others each day.    

If you want to view an image of the chapel ceiling, you can click on this link http://www.flickr.com/photos/paullew/5668830050/ .  The painting I mention is in the upper right corner of the image. 

It was a remarkable afternoon walk.  Good for my soul, and my body.  This is only a slice of the astounding, marvelous discoveries that I experienced on this trip.  My wish for you, the reader, is that you are able to visit holy, historic places in your lifetime. 

A 17th Wedding Anniversary

My husband and I celebrated our 17^th anniversary earlier this month.  That particular day, a Saturday, was extremely busy for our family.   We realized a week before the anniversary that we would have little time for just “us”. 

This type of “celebration” seems particularly appropriate for this time in our lives.  While our marriage is the foundation of all that we do, right now, little of our “doing” is for each other.  Our lives are more about taking care of our son and my husband’s mom than it is about the two of us. Four years from now, our son will be in college and we can do whatever we want on our anniversary.  (I’m thinking a European Cruise might be in the mix!) 

The morning of our anniversary, we attended our son’s first high school football game and brought my mother- in- law with us. We cleaned house and did some volunteer work, ending the day with a family dinner. 

It has always been my mindset that our wedding anniversary is a private celebration -something that only the two of us celebrate.  And this being the 17^th year, it was not an “important” anniversary (I don’t ever know if there is a suggested gift for seventeen).
That mindset changed this year.  We did receive an extraordinary number of anniversary greetings from family and friends.  With each greeting, I thought, “Our anniversary is only for us.” 

My thought changed as I was reading magazine covers in the grocery store.  Some make known the steps to plan a perfect wedding.  Others claim to know the inside workings of celebrity marriage.  Wearing the right clothes, having a picture perfect physique and a beautiful home are all keys to success, according to various tabloids.  Not one mentions our spiritual side, that giving is better than receiving or that God will meet all of our needs.

Perhaps, I thought, this anniversary does not just mark the 17^th celebration of the day we committed our lives to each other. Our marriage is not simply the celebration of our love for each other, but for the union of our lives, with Christ, in the sacrament of marriage.  

Our anniversary doesn’t just belong to us.  It is our public proclamation of our love for each other and our commitment to our union until death.  My husband and I can give thanks to God for bringing us together.  We can be an example of living marriage as a sacrament.  While being married for 17 years is not a record, it is something worth celebrating - publically!

Give us this day our daily bread

Give us this day our daily bread

It’s dark and quiet at 5:43 in the morning as I begin to write this entry. I light a candle, not to see, but for comfort.  I awoke a little after five this morning with thoughts racing through my head about what I didn’t do yesterday and how much I have to do today.  After the third attempt to shut off that annoying tape, that is only adding anxiety to my life, I rolled over and picked up my smart phone. 

“Catholic Daily Office” I typed into the browser and found the invitatory psalm for today.  I love the way this prayer cycle opens, “O Lord, open my lips and my mouth will proclaim your praise.”  What a suitable way to being any day, especially today! 

It is September, and any mom will tell you that these first two months of the school year are filled with frantic activity.  Additionally, I have new clients and as much work as I can handle.  Yesterday, I had five business meetings in five different places, and ended the day with a school parent’s meeting.  My weekly “to do” list is over 70 items, none of which I completed yesterday.  My meetings only added to my work.  In addition, in the business of yesterday, I didn’t feel in touch with God.  I haven’t written an entry to this blog in over two weeks.  Thus, my anxiousness with the dawn of another day.

I read the Psalms, searching for words that will draw me closer to God and relieve my anxiety.  As I read Psalm 62, I focus on “my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you.” Later in the same Psalm I read, “My soul clings to you; your right hand raises me up.”  That’s good stuff, but not what I need to quiet the apprehension for the day.

At the end of the set of prayers, I say the “Our Father”.  I say it again, because as I ended it, I realized that I only repeated it, not prayed it.  Then a third time, focusing on each word.  The words are as if they are being whispered into my ear.  “Give us this day our daily bread.”

Oh yes, what I need from God is for today and only today.  It is not to complete all of the things on my to-do list, solve all of my client’s problems or even clean every room in my house.  But to be present with my family today, to give excellent service to my clients, to praise and worship my God and to be Him to those I meet. 

“Give us this day our daily bread,” is such a powerful phrase, but so commonly repeated that it can lose its authority and strength.  Let this me my mantra for today, O Lord.

It’s now 6:58 am and the sun is up.  As I’ve pondered my morning prayer and written this piece, my family has drifted in and out of the room.  It’s time to begin the activity of the day, remembering that I need only focus on today and ask for “our daily bread”.

Storms

An earthquake on Tuesday and a rain/wind weather event from Hurricane Irene on Saturday.  It has been an eventful weather week in the DC area.  During the past 24 hours, I don’t think I’ve had a conversation that hasn’t referenced the storm.  The news media has done nothing except play on our human fears, causing people to buy far more water, batteries and peanut butter than they will need in the coming year.  (I’m just thankful that they didn’t know the earthquake was coming.)

However, another event, with only a local impact, will most likely affect my life more than either of these events over the next months.  On Friday, I learned that a parish member, who has several young children, has ovarian cancer.  While we hear about all types of cancer in the news and are bombarded with requests to support cancer research, somehow when someone I know is diagnosed, cancer is spelled with a capital “C”.  Having lost my grandma, for whom I was named, and both parents to cancer, the news evokes all kinds of emotions. 

It makes me realize that it is time to get on my knees and pray for this family, as well as offer assistance with things like transportation, childcare and meals.  The forecasters of the outcome of this storm will not be meteorologists, but a variety of oncologists and their colleagues.   Family and friends at times will feel helpless, but those who trust in Christ and ask, “His will be done”, will not be hopeless.  Whatever the outcome of this storm, the suffering endured will create many blessings. 

When I think of the event of the past week, I realize that I must trust in Jesus.   No matter how unexpected or frightening the storm, I must believe that He knows what He is doing.  No matter how sorrowful or joyful the event, it is what I need at this moment.  Even when I would rather not hunker down, waiting for Irene to arrive or to hear of the illness of a friend, there is a reason for the event.

On this Monday morning, the weather forecast is for sunny, clear skies for the next few days.  The effects of the earthquake and Irene will soon be forgotten.  My fellow parish member and her family are adjusting to the unexpected news and assessing the next steps.  It is trust in our great and mighty Lord that will take us through this day and beyond.