During
the past year, I have had a regular confessor.
I wasn’t particularly looking for one.
Then, one day at the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception in DC,
I entered the confessional and the counsel that I received from the priest was
so completely on target, that I would have thought that he had known me for
some time.
A few
weeks after that encounter, I learned of his confession schedule and began to
go every other Sunday to “Mary’s House” to confess my sins to the Lord and
receive His counsel though Fr. Bob. Over
the months, Fr. Bob spoke often of the gifts and fruits of the Holy Spirit -
sometimes asking me to listen for those subtle nudges and sometimes pointing
out the times when I followed the Spirit’s direction.
The
greatest benefit in going to him regularly, is that he challenges me in various
areas of my life. His words are not
judgmental or harsh, but he asks me to consider my actions in the context for
God’s love for me and for the world. I
found my definition of sin changing from what I did “wrong” to what I have done
(or not done) that is not pleasing to God.
Often,
the penance I received focused on the Our Father. Rather than simply saying the
Our Father, he would ask me to concentrate on a particular phrase of this
powerful prayer. Over the past year, my
understanding of and joy in praying the Our Father has increased drastically
due to focusing on phrases such as “Thy will be done” and “forgive us our
trespasses as we forgive those who trespassed against us” .
It has become our habit to talk for a few
moments after absolution, if there wasn’t a line. So in addition to being my confessor, Fr. Bob
provided spiritual direction. On Palm
Sunday, after receiving absolution, he said, “our time together is coming to an
end”. I certainly wasn’t prepared for
this comment, since this routine of regular confession has become an important
part of my spiritual growth.
I
learned that he is leaving Washington DC for a position in another part of the
country. His Ph. D., earned from
Catholic University last year, will be put to tremendous use in this new
position. Intellectually, I am thrilled for this opportunity for him and for
the Church. Yet, I left the Shrine, one week before Easter, feeling sad, and a
little abandoned.
After
prayer and consideration, I have put this loss of this Holy man of God into
context. And realize that it is time for
him to take the next step and the same can be said for me. Perhaps it means finding another regular
confessor or perhaps the Spirit will guide me through a variety for priests. It does not mean giving up my regular,
comfortable schedule of celebrating the sacrament of Confession. I need to be open to listening for that nudge
that will help me take the next step in the right direction.
Isn’t
that what he asks me to do everyday!
