My First Dominican Feast Day

               It was one of those urges or nudges that I attributed to the Holy Spirit.  I had been in Italy for nearly a week and in Rome for three days.  The days had been filled with tours of magnificent churches and cathedrals, leisurely shopping for clothing and trinkets, sumptuous meals and awesome celebrations of daily mass.  Having grown up in the Mid-West, the idea that churches contained the tombs of saints seemed odd. 

 

               Well, maybe not in Assisi, after all that is where Francis and Clare lived and worked. And I was looking forward to being able to pray at Blessed John Paul II tomb at St. Peter’s later in the week. But JPII had a profound effect on my life.  So here stood, in front of  a tomb for a St. Pius and I had the urge to kneel and pray.

               I knew that there had been a number of Popes named Pius, being familiar with Pius XII who was Pope during World War II. Giving into that urge, I kneeled and my prayer may have been something like this, “St. Pius, I really am not sure why I am here, but I ask for your intercession for a job for my husband and safe travel back to my family.”  Praying to an unfamiliar saint seemed peculiar to me.  At some point I moved on to allow my eyes to feast on the banquet of art and architecture in the Basilica of St. Mary Major.

               More than a year later, I discovered that this Saint Pius was the Pope who encouraged praying of the Rosary to defeat the Turks at the Battle of Lepanto.  And, in my pursuit to find a Dominican Saint to take as my name in the Order, I discovered that he’s a Dominican.  In fact, he is one of four Dominican Popes. 

               After some weeks of trying on names such as Catherine (of Siena), and Mary Magdalene, I decided to take my Dominican name after Saint Pius V.  In the time since then, I’ve learned that he implemented the Council of Trent and was a Pope faithful to the magisterium of the church in a time when people wanted reform. 

               Today, April 30^th is his Feast Day. I celebrated by taking treats into work.  I also paused to wonder that the great treat that the Lord had prepared for me, through the work of the Holy Spirit.   If I hadn’t giving into that urge to kneel and pray, I’m sure I would not have remembered St. Pius’s name.  St. Pius, I thank you for your faith and courage.  Lord God, I thank you for your guidance through your son Jesus Christ, in the work of the Holy Spirit. 

               St. Pius, pray for us!

It's a Noisy World!

               Silence has become an important part of my day.  Spending three days away from home helped me to realize how little I interact with the “world” in my daily routine.  While enjoying a few days of work in Chicago, I found it difficult to find silence.  The trip began with an early morning plane ride. I had planned to catch up on the sleep I lost by getting up at 4 pm to get to the plane.  My seat with next to a group of colleagues who were traveling together and they talked the entire flight.

               My walk through Mid-Way airport was punctuated with music that filtered throughout the terminal. As I entered the hotel lobby, my eyes were drawn to the large screen TV that was placed over the reception area. Later that day, I wanted to do write, but the bed in my hotel room was inviting, so I brought my computer down to the lobby.  The volume on the TV was so loud, that I couldn’t concentrate to write.  

               I met a friend at a restaurant that didn’t have a large TV or music!  We enjoyed a two hour dinner sharing our family stories and professional challenges.  The final event of the evening was a chance to meet my brother who just happened to be in Chicago, just five blocks away from me.  I arrived in his hotel lobby early and pulled out a book to read, only to find the volume on the TV, even bigger than the one in my hotel lobby, to be too loud to concentrate.  After my brother arrived I asked if we could turn the volume down.  Much to my delight, the bartender turned it off, saying that he was tired of the non-stop talk too!

               The weather didn’t cooperate.  I had hoped to take my computer to Grant Park and spend an hour or two writing.  The cold, rainy weather meant I needed to be inside. I spent parts of the next day working in a coffee shop and finally left when my head hurt from too much noise.  As I walked through a number of stores on the Magnificent Mile, I wondered at the idea of having TVs in all kinds of retail stores.  Does that help the shopping experience, or does it distract people from making purchases?

               Much of my time was spent writing in my hotel room where I had wonderful silence.  During the visit, I ran across the following quote by Kierkegaard:  If I could prescribe just one remedy for all the ills of the modern world, I would prescribe silence. For even if the word of God was proclaimed in the modern world, no one would hear it; there is too much noise. Therefore create silence.

               At the end of my trip, my husband picked me up from the airport.  I got into the car, gave him a kiss and turned off the radio.  He looked at me puzzled and I just smiled and said, “Let’s enjoy the silence”.

Obedience

            For April, my study assignment for my Dominican Lay Community was to study the Evangelical Counsels and reflect on them.  The Counsels are Obedience, Voluntary Poverty and Chastity.  Here is a summary of my reflections:

            While St. Thomas says that the perfection of Christian life consists radically in charity, at this point in my spiritual journey, perfection consists in radical obedience to God. Conforming my will to God’s, or being obedient to him, is my most difficult task.  I’ve now come to understand that it is only when I am obedient that I am able to do the work He has for me.

             Somehow, obedience in big things tends to be easier than obedience to the little things.  I gain great encouragement from reading the lives of the saints. I am currently reading about St. Faustina and her daily struggles with health, jealously, courage and a multitude of other challenges. It helps me to understand that if a woman who is gifted with such an intimate relationship with Jesus struggles, then I will also struggle.

            St. Therese and her “little way” is a great example of how important it is to give up my own desires and will each day as the Lord uses my actions to bring joy and comfort to others.  The example of St. Therese leads me to discover God’s love in my life. My greatest example is Mary, the Mother of God, who is the perfect example of obedience.

            Obedience is not a popular word today.  The modern woman does not want to be obedient to anything or anyone.  Being a child of the 1970’s, the culture taught me that I should grow up to be independent, have a career that brings me wealth and status and allows me to do what I want, when I want and marry and have children, if I want. Fortunately, my parents also made sure that I attended church regularly and went to Sunday School. It was there that I learned to listen to the voice of the Lord and to be perceptive to the nudging of the Holy Spirit.

            As I pray prior to communion for God to conform my will to His, I certainly can see improvement in my obedience to Him. I also see how far I must go to even approach the outskirts of perfection.

 

            My motivation for obedience is love for Christ.  (Luke 10:27) He answered, "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"  And so maybe St. Thomas is right, that the perfection of Christian life consists radically in charity.  It is only because of my love for God and His love for me that I am able to progress in obedience.

A Week of Blessings

               I am sitting in a downtown Chicago coffee shop writing.  This morning, I am feeling very cheery and thankful, which contrasts dramatically with the dreary, chilly weather outside.  My glass is not half empty or half full.  It is overflowing with blessing for the week. So be patient with me as I take the time to count them and thank God for them!

               I left a warm and cherry blossom beautiful Washington DC to come to a rather bleak, rainy Chicago for an event for a client this week, on a flight delayed due to a mid-West rain storm.  The sleep that I was seeking on the plane was kept at bay by a group of gregarious colleagues on their way to a conference. It didn’t seem like a great start to this three day trip.

               The first blessing is leisure. The delay slowed down my usual frantic pace. I took the time to pare down my “to do” list to something reasonable. Since I was not able to enjoy the sleep that I sought on the plane, I read thoroughly a forty page essay that I needed to finish by next weekend.  Reading it all in one sitting provides a continuity that would not have been available by reading it in several increments.

               The second blessing is the chance to see friends.  I have a number of friends in the city, and I managed to see several of them on this trip.  For the most part these friends are now Christmas card and Facebook friends, so it was great to see them in person and catch up.

               Location is the third blessing.  I stayed in a hotel just blocks from the event and when I booked it, I didn’t even think about where it was located.  I stayed right in the middle of the Magnificent Mile, a terrific place for walking, and close to the L if I wanted to be more adventurous.  It was a 10 minute walk to Holy Name Cathedral where I was able to attend daily mass.

               Fourthly, I was able to have a surprise visit with my brother who lives in Michigan.  He travels to Chicago occasionally.  Our visits over lapped for one evening and we were able to see each other for an hour on Wednesday night.

               The event that brought me to the Windy City is the fifth blessing.  It was a well run event that raised awareness and money for my client.  I so enjoyed hearing the featured speaker, Father Robert Barron and came away with a renewed sense of purpose for my client, my work and my life.

               Finally, I have been able to spend time focusing on the business and planning portion of my business.  As a small business owner, it is far too easy to let quarterly planning and evaluation slip.  I purposely came to Chicago a day early and stayed a day late to be able to give myself a work retreat!

               I look forward to getting back to my life as wife and mother. And can do that feeling refreshed after this three day respite in Chicago. Thank you Lord for these blessings and for those I didn’t even notice.

Wings of Prayers

I’m in one of those cycles – emails this week brought news from two friends who are dealing with seriously ill parents and my prayer group is praying for two very serious ill women. Having buried both of my parents and my father-in-law, I generally put myself on the side of having more, rather than less experience with death.

And I am reminded of the death of my father at 59 years old.  Sunday will be the 28^th anniversary of his death.  When I see commercials for the Masters Golf Tournament, I know the anniversary of his death is near.     

The day before he left us, was the Sunday of the Masters tournament.  All four of his children were home and Jack Nicholas won. Death is such a mystery. I think that my dad was ready to go after spending quality time with each of his adult children and enjoying his favorite sporting event of the year.  He left us early on that Monday morning nearly 28 years ago and I still miss him.

And so what can I do to comfort my friends? Having a seriously ill parent is painful.  The one who taught you to ride a bike has trouble walking.  The one, who always challenged you to always do your best, needs help eating. The eyes that looked at you with pride and sometimes disappointment now are filled with pain.  And you can’t make them better and you don’t want them to go.

I can share with my friends some of my insights to death, having been present as two of my family members left us in the past three years.  I am certain that you don’t die alone - that your spirit is accompanied by spiritual beings on the journey to the next life. If you are ill and your health is failing, I believe that you have some influence over the timing of your death, depending on whether you are ready to go or not.  And those who have gone before us, who believe in God, are in a much better place than we are on earth.

When I wonder what heaven will be like, my first thought is that it will be a place without fear and greed.  It is a place that has more beauty than I can conger in my imagination. And I have this image that as a person enters into heaven; there is a welcoming party of loved ones whose celebration of the new life is better than a team that wins the Superbowl.

And at times like this, I try to be a comfort to those who are dealing with the imminent passing of a parent.  And so I hold my friends in my heart as I pray for the souls of their parents.  For my friend who lives locally, I brought over a meal.  And I pray, because I know that some days, my friends are kept aloft on the wings of prayers.

My Response to the HHS Mandate

This evening I responded to the HHS Mandate and wanted to share my thoughts with you. I responded with the following words:

As a woman, I object to the Obama's administration's mandate to cover contraceptives on the basis that the use of contraceptives degrades the marriage relationship and is abhorrent to God.  God created man and woman to be united in a monogamous relationship for life.  A relationship that is open to having children, rearing them together, and making sacrifices for each other and for their children. 

I object to the coverage of contraceptives because they destroy the family.  They enable weak men and women (as we all are) to indulge in pleasure almost indiscriminately.  They encourage our teenage children to become sexually active before they are emotionally or mentally ready to form the complex relationship between and man and a woman. 

The failure of contraceptives can create new life that may be born into a family that is devoid of a mom or a dad, or aborted.  Either option is difficult for the woman who carries the baby and less than optimal for the child. (Perhaps a slight understatement.)

I object to the coverage of contraception because it is destructive to women.  Our society wants to promote that contraceptives are a "right".  Instead it puts us (women) in a situation where it is difficult to say "no".  We have heard the line over again, "what is the big deal?" The cultural expectation is that what women want is great sex.  I believe that what a woman wants, and needs is a stable lifetime relationship, not a series of sexual acrobats that entice her and move into and out of her life.

I object to the coverage of contraceptives in this healthcare bill because the use of contraceptives is not health care. If a woman wants to use contraception, she can pay for it herself. (As I did for many years.)  

More than any of the above reasons, I do not support free access to contraceptives because I regret my use of contraceptives in my marriage.  I ignored the wisdom of the Church, not even bothering to read Humane Vitae, while I put powerful drugs into my system that altered the natural cycles of my body.  Once I read the Church’s teaching on his subject, I immediately understood its teaching and realized how foolish I had been. The use of contraceptives builds barriers between spouses and detaches the intimate sexual act from married love. 

The use of contraceptives is not a right, it is a choice.  In this land of the free, employers should have the choice to provide health care coverage that does not violate their moral and religious convictions. 

You can also send your comments regarding the HHS Mandate by clicking on http://nchla.org/actiondisplay.asp?ID=292.  The deadline is April 8, 2013.