I'm Not Home Yet

I distinctly remember the first November after God swept me back to him.  I was reviewing the daily mass readings each night before I went to bed.  This had been a habit since August, but I was struck by the glum and gloomy readings.  I mentioned to a friend, “The reading this month have been depressing”.  I didn’t understand at the time that November is the month when the Church remembers the dead as it approaches the end of the church calendar.

 

This November, four years distant from that November, I have taken satisfaction in the readings, the masses and the church's focus on the dead.  A significant reason for this is my understanding of the Church’s regard for dead souls.  As a protestant who become Catholic in her 20’s, it is only in the past few years that I understand the teaching on Purgatory and the great need to pray for those who have gone before us. My Dominican family is teaching me about the great benefit for praying for the dead. (And the great benefit we receive from the prayers of those who are now in heaven!)

My parish priest takes special care in the preparation of the All Saints and All Souls liturgies. Envelopes with the names of those to be remembered are on the altar for the entire month, and are prayed for at each mass. The past two years, my mother and my father in law were remembered in the litany of those who had died in that calendar year during the All Souls mass. This year, a good friend, not much older than me, was remembered at the mass. I’ve sent three sympathy cards to friends who have lost parents this month and are remembering their parents during the masses.

Each year, the week of Thanksgiving, my family remembers the birthdays of our fathers, Bob Liike and Martin Holohan.  My father has been gone for more than 25 years, whereas Dave’s for 18 months.  Regardless, we don’t let Nov 24^th or 27^th go by without remembering the important influences that these good men had on us.

At the age of 55, this focus on leaving this life and moving on is more comforting than disconcerting for me.  A current popular Christian song by the group Building 429 comes to mind.  The refrain says:

All I know is I’m not home yet

This is not where I belong

Take this world and give me Jesus

This is not where I belong

No I am not home yet, but, during this month, I am happy to remember those who are on their way, or who have arrived.

A Road Trip

               A few days ago, my sister called and asked me to drive with her to pick up her son at College for Thanksgiving break.  His college is four hours away. This is his first time home since he left for his freshman year at College in August.  My sister and I live about an hour apart, but we haven’t seen much of each other this year.  The idea of taking this road trip was delightful.

               My family vacations growing up were always road trips.  My parents purchased a trailer when I was 6 years old and we would travel the country, camping in the trailer. One summer, we drove from Detroit to California and back.  As an adult, I have flown to the destinations for most of my vacations. I look forward to retirement when my husband and I can hop in the car and travel to interesting and unknown destinations.

               We drove from up I-270 and I-70 to the turnpike and eventually ended at Duquesne University in Pittsburgh.   We drove past the outlet mall and resisted the temptation to shop, toward the mountains on a crystal clear day.  After a short stop for restrooms and coffee at Breezewood, we entered the turnpike and drove past farms, through the tunnel and small towns, viewing dozens of billboards.

               The best part about road trips is the opportunity to talk and to listen, to comment on what is seen and share what you had meant to share.  We talked about our faith, when we first really believed; I shared the reason for why our family changed churches.  We briefly talked politics and she shared what it was like to be an empty nester.

               For me, one of the more interesting observations was a Dunkin’ Donuts billboard.  It let the passersby know that Dunkin Donuts was 32 miles away.  It also said “Wi-FI” and “drive thru”, right next to each other.  I began to giggle and my sister said, “What is going on?”  It took me a few moments to compose myself and share how the billboard seems to sum up current lifestyles. 

               “Drive thru” because we never have time to sit down and enjoy a cup of coffee.  Let just get our caffeine fix and go.  And “Wi-Fi” because why would you ever want to sit down and enjoy a cup of coffee without being connected to the phone and internet?

               That led us to a long discussion about what is important in life.  For me, spending eight hours in the car with my sister talking and listening is one of the important times of life!

The Lost Wedding Ring

               A few weeks ago, my husband sat down next to me on the couch and said those words that can strike fear in the heart of a spouse.  He said, “I need to talk to you about something.”  When either of us has had something important, intimate or controversial to discuss, we have used a similar phrase.  My reaction to the phrase most likely goes back to my dating days, when it was followed by words to the effect of “you are a very nice girl, but . . .” and the relationship was over.

              

               This time the phrase was followed by, “I can’t find my wedding ring.”  I could tell how awful he felt about it.  He remembered being in church and knocking the ring against the pew on a Thursday night and then when he was driving on Friday; the ring wasn’t on his finger. So the timeframe when he lost it and the places he traveled led both of us to believe it was somewhere in the house.  I let him know that the ring is only a symbol and that it would turn up. 

               

                 Quiet frankly, in the business of the fall activities, I forgot about our conversation, only to be reminded when I ran across my husband dumping the paper recycling out on the garage floor to go through it before it went to the curb for pickup, or when he spent an entire day cleaning out his closet to, unsuccessfully, look for it.

               

                 For me, it is not the ring that binds us together as husband and wife, but our vows before God, that covenant that makes us one.  And after 18 years of marriage, it is certainly not the ring that keeps us together, but the willingness to love each other by giving out entire selves.  At one point when we were in conversation, I let him know that if the ring was not found, we would pick out another one and have it blessed by our Pastor.  In the whole realm of the stresses of life, I didn’t want him to worry about a piece of gold.  Especially since one of the reasons he lost the ring is that he has lost 40 pounds in the past few months and his finger is now thinner.

              

                 Last Friday, I received an email that said that the ring was found.  My son was going through his Scouting backpack, preparing for another camping trip and at the bottom of the bag, he found my husband’s ring (and $16 in cash that he didn’t know he had)!  I could feel the elation and relief that my husband was experiencing as I read the message.

               

               And so the ring is found!  But even better is the knowledge that our marriage is built on solid ground, not on all of the trimmings of our wedding day.  I am thankful for this experience and asked him to go get the ring sized this week, so we wouldn’t have to experience it again!

A New Friend

          I couldn’t help but smile when I realized that today (Nov 13) is the feast day for St. Frances Xavier Cabrini.  A few years ago, my pastor told a story about Mother Cabrini. She was in the last years of her life and was told that bed rest was best for her.  One afternoon, her caregiver entered Mother Carbrini’s room and became alarmed.  Where was Mother? She wasn’t in her bed or anywhere near.

          And a frantic search ensued. Finally, she was found in the linen area folding laundry. When asked why she left her bed, she said, “There will be plenty of time to rest in heaven.”

          Among other things, she is the Patron saint of hopeless causes.  She wanted to be a missionary in China, but was sent to the United States. When she arrived, the Archbishop of New York told her to go back to Italy.  Instead, she founded an orphanage, the first of 67 institutions that she would found in the Americas.

          In 1909, she became a United States citizen.  She died in Chicago in 1917 at the age of 67.

In light of our recent election results, we can learn from her wisdom.  She said, “We must pray without tiring, for the salvation of mankind does not depend on material success; nor on sciences that cloud the intellect. Neither does it depend on arms and human industries, but on Jesus alone.”

           Given the need for conversion of souls in the United States, I am now praying for her intercession to turn souls in her naturalized country back to Christ. I am also taking comfort in the following prayer for peace of mind:

                              FORTIFY me with the grace of Your Holy Spirit and give Your peace to my soul          that I may be free from all needless anxiety, solicitude and worry.  Help me to desire always that which is pleasing and acceptable to You so that Your will may be my will.

           And so, today I found a new friend.  Someone who does not give up. Someone who seeks Christ's will even when she thinks she should be going in a different direction.  Someone who values her time on earth and has left an amazing legacy.

           St Frances Xavier Cabrini, pray of us today and always.

 

Confidence in God

               My husband and I had the opportunity to hear Donald Cardinal Wuerl speak at the Catholic Information Center on Monday night.  He recently arrived back in Washington after three weeks in Rome at the Synod on the New Evangelization[i].  This morning, I am hanging on to his words about being confident in God as I recover from the election results.

               He spoke about confidence being one of three missing elements that are identified necessary to the spread of the faith and the success of the New Evangelization.  First some background.  Cardinal Wuerl said this Synod was very pastoral.  In other words, the discussions focused on practical actions that Bishops can take to implement the New Evangelization.  He also mentioned that the bishops are united in recognizing the challenges and that the meetings were very positive.  By positive he explained that it seems as if a new Pentecost is sweeping the world wide church.

              The three elements that identified as being necessary for the success of reproposing the Gospel are: recognizing the need for renewal of our faith, confidence in the truth of the message and willingness to share it with others.

              The first element, also described at the kerygma, is the ability for individuals to know and believe in the proclamation that Christ was born, lived on this earth, died, rose again and was seen by many, ascended into heaven and sent the Holy Spirit to be with us.  That Christ’s life described in scripture is not just some story, but details the events that happened to Him.

   

            Confidence is the second element that is necessary for the New Evangelization.  We must be confident in God’s providence. We must know the Gospel message is true and believe in it.  Belief in the kerygma determines how we live our life. On days when we don’t understand what is happening in the world, we recognize that God is in control.  Our confidence in the truth provides the essential foundation for the next element.

            

             The third element is that Catholics need to be willing to share their faith in all situations.  While “are you born again” is not our tag line, the example of Evangelicals asking this of total strangers is an action to emulate.  To be bold about our belief and to lovingly be able to share the teachings of the church with friends, family, co-workers and strangers is the essence of the New Evangelization. Sometimes we share in words, but we also share in our life style and our actions.

             

            On this day, when I feel bruised and battered, I can find hope in having confidence that our great and mighty Triune God is in control. Now, with whom should I share the message!

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[i] In finding a definition for the New Evangelization, I prefer to use the word that Pope Benedict XVI applied to the process.  He says we are to “repropose” the Gospel to others.  This whole process begins, however, with a deepening of our own faith and then, as a result of all of this, the desire to share the faith with others.  From Cardinal Wuerl’s blog - http://cardinalsblog.adw.org/2012/03/the-new-evangelization-in-brief/